(no subject)
Oct. 2nd, 2024 08:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ahmwmaThe panic of chasing down contact info has ended.
The long hike of figuring out how to actually be a friend in new places will be underway... um, as soon I've caught my breath. And I have such a huge backlog of interesting posts 'to look at later, when there's time' that I'll probably still be "on cohost" (as in, about a dozen tabs open at a time) for a few more weeks.
I'm aware that in my chost about 'where I'll be next' there's no mention of where I'll be posting art. lol. Because I still don't know. I don't want to join a gallery site! One of the appealing things about making a personal website (whenever I get around to working on it again) is to be able design the way things are displayed -- arrange things differently than gallery sites would, and probably worse than them in every possible way.
But hopefully in some way that lets me organize my thoughts how I want them.
I had a breakthrough about myself, and about a future decker project. I figured out the physical conceit I need to be working from, and how much having one helps me. It's nothing unique or interesting. It's pretty obvious actually. But it does seem like I need things to have a sort of physical, tangible weight in my head for me to start making design decisions. This is what I need to get started.
The incredible power of examples weighs on my mind a lot. The first decker projects I saw were very cool -- but didn't show me the things that I'd actually get excited about later. I didn't know yet that there would be this specific path full of things I'm interested in and also capable of doing.
And I have this old unpublished, 1-bit thing. Ostensibly a zine. I posted some pages on cohost. But more importantly it is a box.
On the home card there's also some real things -- my krill buddy, a WKTD print on the wall. An explanatory note because I didn't have confidence in what I was doing.
The drawers are full of smaller items, which all lead to more traditional zine pages where I ramble on about the subject they relate to.
I have never enjoyed the writing part of anything, but creating a box of treasures was fun and a useful hint about what direction I would be heading in next. This was a period of time when I was using a very ancient laptop so the art was drawn elsewhere and imported in. If I were to start this up again I would want to redo a lot of it. And I would use every ounce of physical-feeling trickery I've acquired since then to make it better at being what it's trying to be.
I swear this is still related.
A published project of mine (the riddle of the temple) has a "backstage area" with some information about deckmaking.
It started as a chalkboard-green card where I'd keep track of things I still needed to do. Which then became a list of things I wanted to talk about with other deckmakers when it was done. I went back and forth a thousand times about whether or not to include it (is it arrogant of me to think I'm doing something special with puppeteer? do I really have any right to explain things when I barely know what I'm doing?) -- and the answer to anyone else weighing that question in the future is please do it, please just do it, please please but I wasn't sure at the time.
Drawing the background settled the issue. Suddenly it was a physical thing... which cleared my head?
Everything exists in a context now. It's a casual conversation in a hidden place. Rough chalk drawings to explain things visually. Boxes and props scattered around the room. Chicken footprints across the floor (lol). A doodle transformed into a conversational little friend. It's fine if some of the things written in there are a little imprecise as long as it points someone else in the right direction.
We're just hanging out backstage after the show, talking. It's fine.
On reflection, I really am anchored by physical thinking. In all kinds of art. Weight and texture, place and context. I think it limits my choices but I don't mind the additional constraint because it also gives me something useful. It makes it easier to use what I've learned in the past to inform my current decisions... shaping clay, stitching seams, carving pumpkins, assembling a papercraft diorama. Different materials but they all have their own logics that open up possibilities once understood.
I'm going to continue to lean into it, for now. And I trust my tools. Decker, which doesn't dictate what you should make with it, will continue to accommodate me. And I'm getting better at translating my thoughts directly into language it understands.
What am I even trying to say here? I'm kind of talking around it.
I'm not sure how I fit into my new contexts. Cohost had a rhythm I could work with. Other things are different and I'm still figuring it out.
I guess, for now, I'm just grateful that many of the people I wanted to stay in contact with also wanted to stay in contact with me.
The rest will come in time.
(and I'm glad we're all keeping the eggbug emotes with us but how am I supposed to post anything without :host-nervous: ???)
(I AM :HOST-NERVOUS: ALL THE TIME)
The long hike of figuring out how to actually be a friend in new places will be underway... um, as soon I've caught my breath. And I have such a huge backlog of interesting posts 'to look at later, when there's time' that I'll probably still be "on cohost" (as in, about a dozen tabs open at a time) for a few more weeks.
I'm aware that in my chost about 'where I'll be next' there's no mention of where I'll be posting art. lol. Because I still don't know. I don't want to join a gallery site! One of the appealing things about making a personal website (whenever I get around to working on it again) is to be able design the way things are displayed -- arrange things differently than gallery sites would, and probably worse than them in every possible way.
But hopefully in some way that lets me organize my thoughts how I want them.
I had a breakthrough about myself, and about a future decker project. I figured out the physical conceit I need to be working from, and how much having one helps me. It's nothing unique or interesting. It's pretty obvious actually. But it does seem like I need things to have a sort of physical, tangible weight in my head for me to start making design decisions. This is what I need to get started.
The incredible power of examples weighs on my mind a lot. The first decker projects I saw were very cool -- but didn't show me the things that I'd actually get excited about later. I didn't know yet that there would be this specific path full of things I'm interested in and also capable of doing.
And I have this old unpublished, 1-bit thing. Ostensibly a zine. I posted some pages on cohost. But more importantly it is a box.
On the home card there's also some real things -- my krill buddy, a WKTD print on the wall. An explanatory note because I didn't have confidence in what I was doing.
The drawers are full of smaller items, which all lead to more traditional zine pages where I ramble on about the subject they relate to.
I have never enjoyed the writing part of anything, but creating a box of treasures was fun and a useful hint about what direction I would be heading in next. This was a period of time when I was using a very ancient laptop so the art was drawn elsewhere and imported in. If I were to start this up again I would want to redo a lot of it. And I would use every ounce of physical-feeling trickery I've acquired since then to make it better at being what it's trying to be.
I swear this is still related.
A published project of mine (the riddle of the temple) has a "backstage area" with some information about deckmaking.
It started as a chalkboard-green card where I'd keep track of things I still needed to do. Which then became a list of things I wanted to talk about with other deckmakers when it was done. I went back and forth a thousand times about whether or not to include it (is it arrogant of me to think I'm doing something special with puppeteer? do I really have any right to explain things when I barely know what I'm doing?) -- and the answer to anyone else weighing that question in the future is please do it, please just do it, please please but I wasn't sure at the time.
Drawing the background settled the issue. Suddenly it was a physical thing... which cleared my head?
Everything exists in a context now. It's a casual conversation in a hidden place. Rough chalk drawings to explain things visually. Boxes and props scattered around the room. Chicken footprints across the floor (lol). A doodle transformed into a conversational little friend. It's fine if some of the things written in there are a little imprecise as long as it points someone else in the right direction.
We're just hanging out backstage after the show, talking. It's fine.
On reflection, I really am anchored by physical thinking. In all kinds of art. Weight and texture, place and context. I think it limits my choices but I don't mind the additional constraint because it also gives me something useful. It makes it easier to use what I've learned in the past to inform my current decisions... shaping clay, stitching seams, carving pumpkins, assembling a papercraft diorama. Different materials but they all have their own logics that open up possibilities once understood.
I'm going to continue to lean into it, for now. And I trust my tools. Decker, which doesn't dictate what you should make with it, will continue to accommodate me. And I'm getting better at translating my thoughts directly into language it understands.
What am I even trying to say here? I'm kind of talking around it.
I'm not sure how I fit into my new contexts. Cohost had a rhythm I could work with. Other things are different and I'm still figuring it out.
I guess, for now, I'm just grateful that many of the people I wanted to stay in contact with also wanted to stay in contact with me.
The rest will come in time.
(and I'm glad we're all keeping the eggbug emotes with us but how am I supposed to post anything without :host-nervous: ???)
(I AM :HOST-NERVOUS: ALL THE TIME)
