ahmwma | Reading

in think about real time social groups , and why kossai struggle ...
things can move fast . really fast . already take kossai longer than anyone else to think of and write messages , even simple ones . this leave kossai with 2 choices .

first choice is to not push speed , to take as much time as necessary to formulate and word thoughts .
end result of this : everyone move on in conversation by time kossai can contribute , and have nothing more to say to contributions . in both real life scenarios and in games like vrchat , people can forget kossai was even there , and move on without even realise kossai get split off . so just feel like might as well not even be there , and ruin fun if stay .

second choice is to push speed , to say as much as possible , as quickly as possible - even if botch words , not explain well , or if answers very short .
end result of this : people punish kossai for social blunders , miscommunications , and lack of clarity that did not have time to think through - and also tend to assume short answers means not really care about conversations . but rarely do people even explain this much , just chalk this up to bad vibes or say idk just uncomfy without any explanation of why , or any grace and compassion for how these things only happen because literally force to rush , and remove from group .

in both cases also come across situations where kossai struggle more than usual - say for example , recent seizure , lack of sleep , etc - but still try really hard to participate , even if not fully coherent , and people laugh at kossai outright .

so , there is no win , and kossai give up on try those things . even struggle with non-group , non-real time things , but this is definitely where weakest , and where people give least kindness .

Current Mood: discontent
Current Music: dawns y tylwyth teg ~ awen

kossai

in think about my little pony connections , would probably suspect changelings ! um ... sort of ... and sort of not .

love general concepts , right up until thorax happen . like thorax is this special visionary , where changelings can just share love and be fine - no , better than fine ! just kind of hate that . like yes tyrannical queen and hivemind , whatever , but even show characterise during this episode that changelings all born inherently mean and spitty , and thorax was just super special exception . this kind of make weird later that not only do other changelings immediately cave when thorax demonstrate new form , but why no one before thorax seem to have this capability and yet now suddenly everyone do .

there is definitely stuff to criticise about concepts of hivemind vs individuality , and how lines can be blurry and weird and maybe not always useful to pit against one another , but others probably say that better .

so will instead turn attention to this idea that no one will love changelings unless look and behave just like ponies , which is problem when biologically need to feed off of love . have ability to shapeshift , but this is seen as cheat , thievery , and deception , which means methods to get there must be underhand - first characterise as evil just for biological needs , then force changelings to prove this perception right out of starvation and desperation . therefore , " reward " for selfless changelings who share love freely ... is to look and behave just like ponies . not for ponies to look at these weird buggy guys and extend hoof first , no ! changelings must change for ponies , in every scenario here - difference is just whether or not ponies consider to be evil .

also , visually think some of these guys suck . like understand in cartoon for kids will need named characters to be recognisable and merchandisable , but like , kind of ick ? especially colour palettes . absolutely can still make designs more in line with originals that look fun and unique , but guess not cute enough for toys or whatever , even if let changelings be different colours than just black . would much prefer if these new designs would be intentional disguises - something that changelings feel still need to take on in order to gain pony acceptance , but ultimately take toll on feelings because acceptance is conditional . ponies would come to realise how much this actually hurt and make efforts to get over discomfort .

that is version of changelings which kossai connect with . do like that thorax is able to form bonds and feed in moderation because of bonds , but think weird to be some first of kind visionary - changeling inability to form bonds should not be because of biology and apparent hivemind structure , but because ponies make assumptions because of these things . would also much prefer if metamorphosis was not this innate biological reward - changelings should get to look like changelings , and act like changelings , without ponies determine which is good and which is evil , which is ugly and which is pretty .

gee , wonder why faeries would think that . :P

Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: rebirth ~ forest elves

gullwingdoors

I just think it's so cool being real, is all. I mean, come on, you get to have experiences?? And feel things, too. Wild stuff!

(We wanted to post something, but didn't know what. Luckily, it's always cool to post about existing! You should do it too.)

kossai

recently join physical nonhuman specific forum , glad to have something like this . on tumblr there continue to be incorrect definitions and cruel pushback against physical nonhumans , specifically from other folks who make claim to this label , under claims that experience is non-literal and " not like those crazy people " . appeal to sanists is game which will never win , and sorely wish more folks would learn that .

of course , barrier of entry to forum is not exactly huge , not like some older plural or alterhuman forums that require application or anything . but with that barrier of entry , as well as general forum format ... so far , seem like no nonsense happen here .

... but also , not too much legitimate activity either this last little while . kossai not even post very much overall , but make up about half of posts from last 10 days . do not want to over-post and " hog " forum , but if there is nothing for anyone to comment on ... then ... well no one will comment . and if there is no one who comment on anything , then some folks might feel there is no point to post , and then forum will actually die out when still so new .

possibly not help that this forum have like button for posts , which is easy way to acknowledge without need to comment , and leave what could be very neat conversations dead in water . however unsure if host service make this feature mandatory , so will not blame admin so much as shake fist at this like button internet culture .

one of those uphill battles ... hopefully some folks hop back on again soon .

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: the faerie portal opens ~ lia scallon

halcyon_garden

The weather was mixed today, with some sunshine and some rain. There are roses in bloom in my garden.

( click here for images )

silvercat17 posting in

justcreate

What are you working on? What have you finished? What do you need encouragement on?

Are there any cool events or challenges happening that you want to hype?

What do you just want to talk about?

What have you been watching or reading?

Chores and other not-fun things count!

Remember to encourage other commenters and we have a discord where we can do work-alongs and chat, linked in the sticky

kossai

good news , was able to reorganise sewing shelf and get some of those things more in line with each other !
... bad news , this come at cost of paper half-shelf , no longer any good place to put this bag of paper strips which plan to maybe eventually some day use for paper mache possibly perhaps eh . genuinely would love to , have projects that sorely need to finish , just unfortunately pain and time get in way .

might have to see if able to fudge contents from one of these sewing boxes somewhere else , and use that box for paper strips . which is hilarious and ironic , whole point of this mission was to try and separate these shelves better , and yet just not enough room for current amount of material ( which is not much ) to make that possible ... unless finally say goodbye to trash collector .

kossai very much enthusiast of reuse everything for something , see - consider reuse to be important aspect of appreciation , arts , and animism . yarn scraps and fabric crumbs get to be filler for projects , or collage decoration and pouches if big enough . clean plastic and paper trash is filler for paper mache projects , and paper strips also go towards those projects . but with how infrequently kossai can do these , maybe time to part ... bah .

maybe will try to put trash collector somewhere else for now , and think about actual choice another time .

Current Mood: restless
Current Music: the roundel ~ a midsummer night's dream, the piscean creed

halcyon_garden

It was a partially sunny and cloudy day, the evening light was pretty.

( click here for images )

curious_quail_feed

Posted by curiousquail

https://blog.curiousquail.com/its-been-five-years-since-i-found-this-thing-inside-another-thing-that-we-caught-in-a-safetrap/

Happy Smokescreen Chip Day To All Whom Celebrate

A grey longhair cat resting upside-down on a yellow chair

As mentioned back in April, in early 2020 one of our safetraps (a sentence that sure says a lot about my life) caught a small grey feral kitten; we found out shortly thereafter that she was pregnant.

Now - we've taken in so many cats over the years, but we'd never had one actively pregnant, so not only was this new to us it also means we have an accurate birth date for exactly one of the cats in our rescue.

A grey longhair cat panting heavily toward the camera — mama givin berth

a tiny newborn kitten on its side — hatchling

Gargoyle decided she felt safe with both of us - so safe she tried to give birth ON us; we were sitting with her on the bathroom floor and well, I'll spare you the details but it probably wasn't conducive to the birthing process so eventually she settled on the floor herself and finished the job. We're not sure if it was her being malnourished or what, but there was just one kitten in there. No stillborn, no birth defects - just this little guy.

A grey longhair cat cuddling her newborn kitten — proud gargoyle and her 'chip'

a yellow haired woman bent over a tiny grey kitten — i'm new and what is this

The creature Gargoyle birthed was named simultaneously 'Smokescreen' by our kids, and 'Chip' by his godmother (who, in a very 'what the fuck is my life' moment, is the former mayor of a major US city that we met entirely through early twitter and has since become an extended part of our family; if anything happens to Della or I, she gets the cats.) Smokescreen Chip it is.

a tiny grey kitten on a brown cat mansion — GROWIN UP

a tiny grey kitten on a white blanket looking confused — my god those ears

and man, this little fucker grew SO fast.

a tiny grey kitten mid-yawn but looking ferocious — t e e f

a tiny grey kitten asleep on a person's elbow — tiredest child

As it turned out, what Gargoyle had created was not a son - but almost a perfect genetic clone of herself. Cellular division or some shit, I swear to god. Look at these beasts.

It was REALLY hard until about last year to tell them apart. Only recently has he stopped immediately resembling his mother because of his size; he dwarfs nearly every cat in our rescue by a LONG shot.

A large upside-down grey longhair cat — r e c l i n e

A longhair grey cat loafing on an open laptop — no work today thank you

A large grey longhair cat resting on a table next to a box of Magic the Gathering cards — he always chooses the black deck

A longhair grey cat reclining on a reddish rug in the sun — texture needs

He's a massive fan of being on multiple surfaces at once. If his body can be both on the floor and on a rug, or in two rooms at once across a door frame? god he's so happy.

A large grey longhair cat resting on a chair with his eyes closed

Nearly identical to previous shot but his eyes are now open

Weirdly, he's overly affectionate in rooms that have sinks and violent or edgy outside of them.

We attribute this to him being born in the bathroom, otherwise it kind of makes no sense? Purrs and nuzzles he'll give in spades in the bathroom, but if you cross that threshold you'll get a smack and a growl for the exact same interactions.

He also has this innate hatred of doors and things that block his path. I attribute this to when he was almost born twice (once on each of our laps but then....well..sucked back in before the final push...I'm sorry lmao), AND how he needed to be isolated from some of the other at-risk cats before he'd gotten his shots / fixed etc in his youth.

As a kitten he made it his mission to SCREAM HIS ASS OFF at our bedroom door while "trapped" in there with us and keep everyone awake. The alternative was for me to take him into another room, kick the at-risk cats out and let him sleep on my lap. Weirdly, this is both how I learned Blender and 100%'d Bravely Default II; I couldn't sleep because of him but he'd sleep on my lap if I was in the other room and upright, so I stayed up all night doing blender tutorials and level grinding.

Another fun thing about him is preference for running water; we'd tried those fountain style water dishes previously but cats always chewed the wires so we had to give up. Now he climbs up to the sinks and screams till someone turns it on for him.

The cat attempting to drink out of a sink faucet — his special waters

Anyway, he's massive, he's fluffy, he's wonderful (except when he's mean but that's his right) and I'm so grateful I got to watch him get hatched.

Happy Smokescreen Chip day to all whom celebrate.

cats
photography
cat-named-smokescreen

https://blog.curiousquail.com/its-been-five-years-since-i-found-this-thing-inside-another-thing-that-we-caught-in-a-safetrap/

craftyhobbit posting in

smallweb

Hi, I am a neocities user, but recently I've found that the social media-like follow function, profile commenting and recent activity page has started making me feel uncomfortable using the site. I would like to find a free host like neocities that allows me to create a website using old fashioned coding techiques that is free of the social media aspect. I'm not interested in followers, and getting comments for the things that I'm working on - I just want to create a small site to hold the stuff I'm working/researching, but I keep finding free hosts that rely on premade templates and AI content generation. Does anyone have any suggestions?

halcyon_garden

I had an evening walk in the fields and visited the cow boys (not pictured). It was a cloudy day, not too warm.

( click here for images )

kossai

crosspost from tumblr .
kossai do not really like to go on about opinions and concerns about rad-queers and trans-ids - simple fact is that have reasons to dislike and be wary , and make choice to block active community blogs which come into radar , and usually just leave at that .

but honestly do feel sorry for good amount of these folks - can see ways in which struggle , ways which try to cope . atypical dysphorias can be very real frustrations and not easy to deal with , not to mention how folks under stress and trauma might want to seek out more due to familiarity , to recontextualise and make trauma feel safe , or have revenge fantasies to enact on others .

and with all of that , often have genuine worry ? so many of these folks teens who already starve of proper social skills and affections , and some of behaviours which these communities encourage will further stunt - whether that is to ignore criticisms of behaviours and bigotry , to seek out " perfect match " in someone who will happily bully and abuse , or really any number of possibilities .

as well , some of these folks get so personal , and that is extremely hard to take back control . cliche as this is , this is why kossai recommend others go to private journals and documents before anything that touch internet - even if something is behind password , assume anything on internet to effectively be public . never know when data breaches or account hacks might strike .
and fact is that , unfortunately , live in world where people can use that information to bite back and hurt - whether deny future school or job opportunities , or cyberstalk and harass for personal entertainment .

there is also so much vitriol for rad-queers , often under assumption of just seek attention , not really try to observe or understand anyone in depth . so even those who want to leave might feel stuck , unable to find new friend groups and communities that will not reject specifically due to social shortcomings and unsavoury community history . that leave prime to either re-entry into these spaces , or other horrible communities and outright cults .

wish there could be any one , easy answer . but this is life - there never is . that said though , think vitriol is definitely not part of answer - still free to dislike and be wary , kossai would be hypocritical to say otherwise ! but try to dig in and understand why , and to be safe for those who really want to leave , relearn lost skills and become mindful of boundaries again . not everyone will , but be kind for those who do .

Current Mood: pensive
Current Music: the young goblings' first adventure ~ hermit knight

halcyon_garden

It was a low energy day. It's been fairly warm lately. Taking pictures makes my walks feel more real somehow.

( click here for images )

halcyon_garden

It was a cloudy summer day. I went on a walk to visit the cow boys and to collect greens for the bunnies. There's a short video at the end of the post.

( click here for images )

curious_quail_feed

Posted by curiousquail

https://blog.curiousquail.com/the-rabbit-report-02/

Bringing you up-to-date coverage on the adorableness of wild creatures

It feels weird to me (a person living with an infinite number of cats) that I ever feel the need to go photograph anything other than the cats, but as the cats are indoors and I need to go outside every once a while, this happens.

(It also doesn't hurt that it's spring and there are HUNDREDS of rabbits outside at any given time. Please enjoy.)

photography

https://blog.curiousquail.com/the-rabbit-report-02/

kossai

so glad to stumble on uncle frogface and koolkookykreatures , lovely little craft videos with some nice chatter . never actually done any needle felt before , would be afraid to mess up beautiful kit ! but honestly , these pebbles could turn out just as pretty , with nothing to really get wrong ... hehehe . maybe that will have to be project some day .

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: serenade of the enchanted glen ~ niamh o'riley

kossai

so ... while faeriehood is and always was certainty , did also have 2 little phases that attempt to explain uncertain things . ( and to be clear , say phases with love here ! )

those would be vampire and mermaid . neither one really part of identity and experience these days - attempts to justify things that did not yet understand to be faerie , as well as to shield from frustrations of life . faeriehood is definite truth , but briefly wear blankets of vampirehood and mermaidhood , in physical ways as well .

some of these memories can be hard to look back on , but worth actually acknowledge .

Current Mood: thoughtful

luna_moon posting in

gardening

Hello! My name is Luna. I am new to this group and also somewhat new to Dreamwidth! I keep a small backyard garden of mostly veggies and herbs. I grow most of my plants in containers. I use a variety of pots, grow bags, and upcycled totes for growing. Helps keep weeding a lot easier and I don't have to bend over quite as much/often (I have POTS). I live in the middle of the city, close to our downtown district. I don't have a lot of yard space, or the space I have may not be suitable for growing in ground. I am still working on them, but I have a few ideas for posts about composting and upcycling in the garden that I hope I can share in the future!

Below the cut is a small garden tour! This isn't everything I have, and I am still working on adding a few more things. :]

( Garden tour! )

kossai

... and by plans , what kossai really mean is , things that would be very cool to make , but problem is lack of knowledge and skills to make happen , lack of words and energy , or both . mention on tumblr that have lots of ideas for games , but nothing that is small enough to start and finish quickly for actual accomplishment of finish .

but still probably nice to write out those big ideas . these things feel theoretically achievable , with enough time to figure out and word help :

actually finish faerie maze game - can not overstate how much kossai bite off with this one . really love , really want to finish , not sure would be able . especially feel like people would be liable to ignore if not get all text completely rewritten .
smaller faerie house game - something in style of trick / treat , smaller with randomisation .
simplistic faerie theme incremental game - because of course ! build up court to kidnap largest amount of humans . :P
minigame collection - as inspire by childhood faerie experiences , specifically .
trance experiment visual novel - actually have proof of concept , at least for random dialogue code .
" kissing game " but glamourbombs - remember those flash games ? yeah literally that , dart around to glamourbomb but make sure no one catch .

and things that expect to never really be achievable for kossai :

changeling raising sim - this could be from one of two angles , or perhaps do both between two chapters : prepare faerie child to swap place with human , and raise that human as faerie .
make daggerfae - love towns in daggerfall , can really feel like just one person among many . and that feeling would owe perfectly to undercover faerie game , in which lure humans away without draw too much attention - otherwise risk townsfolk figure out and chase away .
really big yume nikki or LSD dream emulator type exploration game - what else is there to say ? either one is perfect format for exploration of strange faerie worlds . additional problem here : have to choose that format , and then forever lament about what chosen format lack in comparison .

so ... yeah . definitely lots of ideas here , but nothing that is quickly achievable for that satisfaction of finish something .

most confident to work with : twine , rpg maker MV
can fiddle with basic stuff : javascript , ren'py
would like to revisit : bitsy , OBSHAGCE
would like to try out : decker , bitsy 3d , flickgame

this wiki is really cool repository of engines and tools , lots out there worth try . just ... need ideas ...

Current Mood: intimidated
Current Music: the waltz of the daffodils ~ rebecca tripp

toothpastepancake posting in

smallweb

I just made a fansite dedicated to a specific topic and I was wondering if anyone had any favorite fandom-specific personal websites, or complex shrines you've seen on the indie/small web?

Here are some cool ones I found while looking!

It's Not Stupid (Invader Zim) NOTE: There is a fast moving gif on this page
Channel 27 (Weird Al)
Dan & Phil games NOTE: way too many flashing gifs on this page, but still very cool

EDIT: I wrote this at 5AM and forgot the indie web movement is new. I’m looking for fansites of any age!

Profile

ahmwma

January 2025

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
			1	2	3	4
5	6	7	8	9	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29	30	31

again and again

Reading

struggle thoughts

my little pony ~ changelings

It's so cool being real!

forum troubles

Roses in the Rain

just Create - Laptop Edition

welp

June 6.

It's been five years since I found this thing inside another thing that we caught in a safetrap

Happy Smokescreen Chip Day To All Whom Celebrate

Free Hosting Suggestions

Summer Experiences

on radqueer cycles

Summer Evening in Red and Green

Cow Moments

The Rabbit Report

Bringing you up-to-date coverage on the adorableness of wild creatures

needle felted faerie pebble brooch ~ by koolkookykreatures

small reflection

Intro

super secret game plans

Favorite fansites?!?!?

Profile

January 2025

Page Summary